Hopeless.

I am afraid that you will leave me. You will find someone better than me, someone smarter, funnier, wiser, prettier. I am afraid that you will leave me for not being successful, for failing. I have failed me, you. I am nothing to be proud of, and yet you are here. When will it end? I am scared to turn the corner and see you gone.

Are my beliefs unfounded? Am I wrong? I am. I am.  I am?

I try so hard, please know that it’s true. I wake up everyday hating what I have become, who I am and what I am not. I wake up everyday wondering how I have let it come to this. I have chosen my own paths and found myself always in the same place. Does this not mean that I am hopeless? I am hopeless, and utterly useless.

So go ahead and leave me. I deserve it.